This isn’t to say I don’t see mainstream-vs-margins tension within the virtual space(s) of the internet … but it’s a very complex dynamic. Like you, Miriam, I’m inclined to see arguments that your presence at Feministing = tokenism as reductive and ultimately judgmental of your participation in a space you’ve chosen without stopping to listen to how you experience that participation, and what it means to you in terms of your blogging, your activism, your identity, etc.

I guess that could be construed as true… if you consider being an active feminist blogger, including writing for a blog that you write for, for over two years an “outsider”. But nice (failed) attempt at invalidation.

I have to admit that after reading van deven/shoot’s apology, I was more frustrated than anything else. It didn’t want me to continue to engage in the debate they started. I felt it was defensive, overly reflective and just not that helpful. It doesn’t fundamentally change the tone of their original post or make me less angered or frustrated.

I don’t really want to engage further in a discussion started by them, two outsiders in the feminist blog world, that was based on so many assumptions (many that were false) and was frankly super patronizing. I don’t want to dialogue on their terms, or in response to their thoughts. Frankly the whole thing appeared to me as an attempt to enter with a splash into the feminist blog world. I didn’t want to feed into that controversy anymore than I already had.

They posted their “apology” on a blog called digitalcolonialism. That in and of itself is enough for me to feel over it and uninterested in engaging more with them. Neither really responded to my concerns except to say “sorry we didn’t try to make friends with you first!” I’m sorry but that’s bs.

These conversations are important. The way the blogosphere is constructed, how certain voices rise to more prominence than others, all of those things need to be talked about. But it’s important to me that this conversation start from a place of respect, of mutual understanding, from people who don’t presume to know how it functions without actually asking.

The initial “response” that Mandy posted here was the exact same comment she posted on Sharkfu’s blog. Word for word. That’s not the kind of dialogue I’m interested in having.