Month: April 2008

Sometimes listening ain’t easy

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There has been a lot of controversy lately in the feminist blog world. I haven’t commented on any of it (with the exception of one collective post) and this is mainly because I’ve been doing a lot of listening.

I realized in March that I had missed the first birthday of Radical Doula. I only entered into the blog world in February 2007, and really spent most of my first year blogging mostly writing and reading only a few other blogs. It’s been a pretty incredible year, to say the least. I feel grateful to everyone who has respected my thoughts and opinions, and given me larger platforms for my words.

A few recent developments pulled me out of my blogging bubble, so to speak. I began writing for Feministing, which brings with it a whole new level of visibility and participation in the wider blog world. I also attended the Women, Action and Media (WAM) Conference last month, where I met a lot of the faces of the blog world, and it motivated me to expand my regular reading list.

I’m not going to rehash any of what has happened here. Many other already have, and you can look at the links in the first sentence of this post for an entry into some of what has transpired.

So these last few weeks I’ve been listening, and reading, and processing, and learning. I don’t know a lot about the history of these conflicts and it all feels very personal as well. I’m Latina, I write for a big Feminist blog, I know a lot of the individuals who are involved in the controversy. I have my own thoughts and opinions about race and appropriation, but lately I’ve just wanted to hear what’s being said by all parties.

My point in writing this is to let all of you who know and care that I am paying attention. I realize that some not so great things have happened and as difficult as it is at times (why can’t we all just get along?!?) these conversations are necessary, important and probably overdue. I’m not going to chime in with my opinions, because as one friendly blogger pointed out, no one is asking. But rest assured, I’m listening.

Blog discovery: Lesbian Dad

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Thanks to the handy dandy Google Reader (looking for a quick way to read/skim a lot of blogs? check it out) I stumbled upon a blog called Lesbian Dad. I’ve only just started looking it over, but this caught my eye in the about section:

    les•bi•an dad n, neologism 1. a. A lesbian or genderqueer parent who feels that traditionally female titles (i.e., “mother”) don’t quite fit, and who is willing to appropriate and redefine existing male ones (i.e., “father”): She was a tomboy when she was a kid, so it’s not surprising she’s a lesbian dad as a parent. b. Often a non-biological parent in a lesbian family, whose role relative to the child in many ways resembles that of fathers.

Rock on. Sounds pretty rad to me, and I can definitely relate to some of LB’s thoughts on gender and parenting (even though I am not yet a parent). There is even a glossary of terms related to queer parenting. Check it out.

Ani DiFranco’s Home Birth

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As a queer person, I can’t pass this one up. Ani DiFranco (can’t you just hear the angsty lesbian music cue in the background) has an interview out about her home birth. Aww.

Your music is the soundtrack of my life — I’ve been listening to you since I was 16, and I just turned 30. What is the soundtrack of your life? And, can you tell us why you chose to have a home birth? Would you do it again?
— Mindy Kufahl of Topeka, Kansas

I would definitely choose a homebirth again despite the fear mongering of this patriarchal society, which convinces women that they are incapable of having babies without the intervention of men and their machines. I look at societies where women are marginalized and oppressed their whole lives (even covered head to toe in tarps!) but are still in control of birthing practice, in a whole new way now. I mean, who is really more advanced? To take birthing out of women’s hands and deny us the continuum of eons of wisdom and experience is to eject us from the very seat of our power. I believe that women in hospitals are prevented from being able to have normal, healthy birthing experiences because of the intimidation of being on the clock, being pressured to take drugs to make it quicker, being inhibited in their movement and activities, and alienated by a sterile, fluorescent lit, feet-in-the-air type environment. You know the classic “performance anxiety” of not being able to pee or poo because somebody’s watching you? Multiply that by a million! A cervix is a sphincter after all! Then to add tragic insult to injury women are numbed through their great moment of revelation. I believe the act of giving birth to be the single most miraculous thing a human being can do and it is surely the moment when a lot of women finally understand the depth of their power and connection to all of nature. You think it can’t possibly be done, you think you can’t possibly take the pain, and then you do — and afterward you look at yourself in a whole new way. If you can do that, you can do anything. Check out the books on this subject by Ina May Gaskin. She’s one of my great heroes. P.S. I was in labor for 43 hours. Pushed for five hours. It was brutal and scary and prolonged, and if I was in a hospital, they would have definitely cut the baby out of me. I thank the goddesses that I was at home with patient midwives who knew how to go the distance. The memory of pain always recedes. The memory of triumph does not.

Full interview here. Via The True Face of Birth.

Some thoughts on gender and pregnancy

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So I’m a little late on this hot news item, but I’ve been trying to process some of the media and reactions before commenting. To get the low-down on the Thomas Beatie situation, read his own testimony about his pregnancy here. In short, he is a transgender man who decided to carry he and his partner’s child.

What has fascinated me most is the media reaction to Thomas’ pregnancy. At first, the media headlines seemed to question his pregnancy: Man claims to be pregnant, read the headlines, instead of Pregnant Woman claims to be Man. The fact that they questioned his pregnancy and not his masculinity was striking.

It seems some people thought the whole thing might be a hoax (maybe because he just looked SO masculine!) but after Thomas went on Oprah and People Magazine, the hoax possibility was disregarded.

What this case brings me back to is the ideas and definitions around gender and sex. When people define what makes someone a “woman” the definitions shift shakily depending on the circumstances. For example, ability to reproduce and birth a child is often cited as a defining category of woman. But, as Judith Butler points out, there are many times in a woman’s life when she is not actually able to birth a child. Before puberty, after menopause, not to mention the larger number of women who experience infertility. Are people who cannot bear children still considered women? Yes.

The gender definition shifts again if you look at chromosomes–women are XX and men are XY. Well, increasingly we are discovering that there are people who aren’t either XX or XY, and that the gender categories don’t fit neatly with the chromosomes either. Same thing with secondary sex characteristics (Women are people with breasts. What about men with breasts? Women without breasts?).

These are things I think about a lot–not just the social construction of gender (the ideas that are associated with men or women, like weakness and strength) but also the social construction of biological sex categories. Particularly being part of a birth activist community, which in many ways is centered around essentialist ideas about gender (women know how to give birth), constantly makes me reflect on how we use these categories, often in ways that are limiting and too narrowly defined.

Thomas Beatie is a very stark example, and an exercise in gender definitions for the general public, who don’t often think about these categories. We take for granted the ways our gender identity (and our biological sex) define and limit who we can be. I believe this is because our gender is at the core of our identities.

Ever walked around in public with a pregnant woman? The primary question she will be asked is “What is it?” referring to the sex of the child. When we call something so fundamental to our identities into question, it is extremely destabilizing.

Is there room in the birth activist movement for more radical ideas about gender and sex? Here’s to hoping.

Call for Radical doulas: St. Louis

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Just got an email from an awesome woman in St. Louis, Missouri who is looking for a radical doula. She is a self-professed sex positive feminist law student (sweet! we need more sex positive feminist lawyers) and here is what she had to say about her experience trying to find a doula so far:

I was talking to a doula that my doctor recommended but as soon as I mentioned a possible orgasmic birth she issued a nervous laugh and I knew something just didn’t feel right.  I want to bring my vibrator, massagers and/or sex toys with me to the hospital and really need a doula, but one who won’t be judgmental about my open sexuality. 

Rock on! I wish I was in St. Louis. So, if you are in a doula in the St. Louis area, or know someone who is, either post your contact info in the comments or email me at radicaldoula@gmail.com and I will pass the info along to her!

For previous posts on orgasmic birth, go here. For previous posts on other women looking for radical doulas, here.

PS If you are a woman having trouble finding a doula who is as progressive as you’d like, please email me! I would love to use this site as a way to connect like-minded moms and doulas.

Looking for orgasmic birth stories!

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From Debra Pascali-Bonaro, my doula trainer(!) and the director of the upcoming film, Orgasmic Birth.
See my previous posts about this film here and here.

Dear Doulas and friends,

I have some very exciting news and need your help. We are finished with our documentary Orgasmic Birth and will be releasing it in May and hosting screenings around the world.

We have recently been contacted by ABC 20/20 and they will be airing a segment about Orgasmic Birth on May 16th for their special Mother’s Day show. They are planning to use some clips from the film, interview some of the women/couples in the film, Dr. Christiane Northrup and Ina May Gaskin two of our “experts” in the documentary and they also interested in talking with a few women who have had “orgasmic” births.

If you or anyone you know has had an orgasmic birth, is willing to be interviewed by 20/20 and lives in the metro NY/NJ /CT area please have them contact me ASAP with their contact info? debra@orgasmicbirth.com

If you know people who have had orgasmic births any where in the world…Or powerful, positive, blissful, ecstatic births…Please ask them to submit their birth story to our web site. www.orgasmicbirth.com

I so appreciate your help,
Love and hugs
Debra

April is Cesarean Awareness Month

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Without even knowing it I posted about c-sections on the first day of Cesarean Awareness Month.

Thanks to all the awesome birth activist bloggers out there (and my fancy new google reader!) I found a lot of posts about this month’s theme. Here is one good round up of posts about it.

The International Cesarean Awareness Network is a good place to go for activism and advocacy around c-sections. Find a local chapter and get involved!

Playing the c-section guessing game

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A new British study is out that correlates cervix length with likelihood of cesarean section.

Researchers in Britain say their study of more than 27,000 pregnancies found that women with the longest cervixes were more likely to need surgery to deliver their child.

Probably not a surprise, but I’m not a big fan of research like this. Number one, I don’t understand why having a long cervix might mean you couldn’t deliver vaginally. Number two, we need LESS c-sections, not more. In the US we already have a c-section rate surpassing 1 in 3, and the World Health Organization recommends 1 in 10. Number 3, is this kind of research going to give doctors another reason not to even allow women to try and deliver vaginally? I can just see it, sorry ma’am, your cervix is too long, we should just schedule a c-section because you’re probably going to need it anyway. What happened to correlation is not causation?

Lastly, read this piece from Bitch Magazine for more on way scientific studies are not always great science, or great journalism.

via Doulicia